Roohi

 

The last pizza slice dangled in the box with a half empty chilli flake packet. Roohi picked the knife lying beside and tried to cut the piece into two equal halves.

“They are not equally equal Roohi” Naitik tried grabbing on to the bigger slice.

“why do you have to be so precise? Its fine you can have the bigger slice anyway.” Roohi jolted her answer and took a bite from the smaller slice.

“Acha teek hai.. come.. have a bite from mine” Naitik gently let her have a bite.

“I need the olives.” Roohi dived in for a huge bite in one go.

“I knew it! just like the old times” Naitik sighed.

“umm… I guess” Roohi spoke after an awkward pause.

“ well.. can I ask you something Naitik?” Roohi spoke with a muffing tone stuffing the last bite of pizza in her mouth.

The pizza crumbs were all over her spaghetti strapped T.

“uh haa..?” He tried to respond with an incomplete slice still in hand.

“ how about me shifting to Navodaya street? It would be easier for Tanvi to travel to school and my office too.”

“ Sounds great.. but….”

“ what do you think?”

“ are you doing this to….” Naitik was figuring out his words.

“to…?”

“ to move Tanvi away from me?” Naitik spoke his bit.

“ no naitik.. I want you to co parent her too. I would always value your presence in her life. She needs a dad even if I don’t need a husband.”

“ I know I get it. but that far??”

“ it wouldn’t be that far. You and Naina could come over to meet us anytime” Roohi continued.

“ Anyway it would take another month to complete the divorce procedure. Until then, we would be here.”

“ what difference would a divorce make to a separated couple over six months now?” Naitik spoke.

“ haha sure.. as if you still wanna be married to me.”

“ um.. I …” Naitik couldn’t find his words.

“ so, how’s Naina?” Roohi spoke to clear the silence.

“she is… just a minute.” Naitik picked up his ringing mobile that sat beside his wallet and the revolver he carried. He answered the call and walked up to the balcony.

Roohi sat for a while noticing Naitik take tiny steps in the compact balcony as he talked on his Bluetooth actively gesturing to the convo with his arms.

Roohi couldn’t unsee the fact that this was the man she had been in love with.  A guy who stormed out of the house to choose another woman.

She walked up to the balcony and stood at the arch of the door.

“All okay?” Roohi walked closer.

“yes its all good.. call from work.”

“Anything new at work? Or is it still the same enquiry -enquiry everyday?”

“ An undercover doesn’t always mean just enquiries.. c’mon. You have seriously got no idea how my department works.” Naitik spoke sarcastically.

“ Nor am I interested to know anything from such a boring department.” Roohi matched the tone.

“ Roohi..!” Naitik looked at her standing next to him with her braided hair and feather like ear rings dancing to the wind.

“ yeah..?”

“ I really miss you and I am sure I will miss you if you shift from here.”

“ well.. its okay We would still be in touch at least for Tanvi. Right?” Roohi tried to lighten his emotion.

“ But you are a great human Roohi. An amazing person. The one who would come into your life would be very lucky.”

“ I … I highly doubt that something like that would happen.” She spoke looking into the night view from the balcony.

Naitik stepped closer to give her a warm hug, “ you will be good Roohi. I am sure you have a long story to go” he held her by the shoulder and gave her a warm smile.

“thanks…” Roohi looked into his eyes and held him into a comforting hug.

Naitik held her in his arms and could feel her breath on his chest under the single layered cotton T-shirt. The hug was lasting longer than expected. He brushed her hair and glided his hand over her neck and tried to angle her face to give an eye contact.

At this very second both could see a moment right before their eyes with just the clock ticking in the background and the silence of the night.

Roohi calmed her breath and looked into his eyes acknowledging his gestures. The gush of nostalgia and memories hit her rushing her adrenaline.

He could sense her heartbeat and escalated to gently feel her lips with his fingers. He brushed them over and held on to cup her face. He could feel her arms grabbing him by the waist with one of her arm gliding to his shoulder. Roohi’s emotions displayed themselves moistening her eyes looking deeply into his.

Naitik Could sense the tension in the air and couldn’t help but leap in to softly land a peck on her berry polished lips. It had taken a minute for her to realise the fact that she was equally reciprocating it. The quick peck had turned into a steamy smooch. Naitik had a storm of nostalgia swirling inside him and Roohi could feel the passion along with the guilt building up in her mind.

“ I think you should go Naitik.” Roohi broke the smooch and took a step back.

“ Sorry I shouldn’t have.. I…” Naitik knew this coming.

“ Doesn’t matter. I am sorry. Its getting late. You should probably leave.”

Naitik picked up his wallet, keys and other stuff from the table.

“ Can I see Tanvi before I leave ? for once?”

Roohi gestured opening the door of the bedroom. Tanvi had fallen asleep with her little teddy. Naitik held her sleepy arm, caressed her face and whispered,” good night darling.. Im gonna miss you”.

“ Bye roohi!” He silently walked out of the main door.\

 ******

“ Good morning Tanvi ..” Roohi spoke as Tanvi walked out of her room.

“ good morning mumma.”

“ Packed everything for school today?” Roohi shot her regular questions.

“ yes. Where is my other sock mumma?” Tanvi asked her holding on to one white sock in her hand. Roohi was used to such morning hustles. She was used to dealing such 3^rd grader problems every morning. She picked the other sock from the sock bin lying under the bed and handed it to her.

“ Cmon have your breakfeast real quick now. You’ll get late”

“ mummaa! When did pappa leave yesterday?” Tanvi’s curiosity enquired.

“ It was um.. after a while you slept.” Roohi cleared the air.

“ I Heard you saying pappa that we might shift. Is that true? Do I have to find new friends again?”

“ were you not asleep by then?” Roohi poked her tummy with a smirk.

“ I wasn’t fully sleepy mumma.. I shut my eyes.. and.. and I was still counting numbers to fall asleep and I… I heard you and pappa talk..”

“ we might darling.” Roohi softly gave her answer.

“ Will pappa still visit us?”

“ Of course. He would even take you to his place to play. You can spend time with pappa whenever you want. Even with Naina aunty. Right?”

Tanvi nodded and continued to eat her breakfast.

“ and.. Tanvi.. How do you like this Naina aunty?” Roohi was trying to know her opinion. This was indeed the first time Roohi was enquiring about this woman. After the previous night, she really had the urge to know her.

“ I.. I have never met her mumma..”

“Cmon.. Havent you even seen her? At least some photos at pappa’s home?”

“ no there are.. there are no photos there.”

Roohi dint understand what Tanvi was saying. Of course, they weren’t married. But as far as Roohi had known, Naitik’s way of live in would definitely involve cozy couple pictures hanging all over the walls.

It was right then, Roohi figured out some unconnected dots, the WhatsApp messages she had casually left on read popped up in her head.

She grabbed her mobile from the kitchen counter, scrolled to the old messages to spot the one she was looking for.

“ hey, will drop Tanvi home by 4. We had a great day. Naina was so happy to meet her. I gave her an ice cream though. Make sure you give her some warm water as she reaches.”

Roohi went back to the table and Tanvi was almost done with her roti.

“ Tanvi.. Darling haven’t you ever met Naina aunty? Not even once? Just think..”

“ No mumma I have not ...every time I ask, pappa says aunty is at office.”

Roohi took a while to process in whatever Tanvi had just told.

As soon as Tanvi left to school, Roohi packed her lunch with the fresh dal kichdi and picked her office stuff to lock the flat. She drove to Naitik’s Street and parked her car a block away from his apartment. After a solid half an hour of overthinking, she decided to visit him for once. Though she knew where he stayed, she had never visited him since the separation.

She walked up to his flat and gathered up courage to ring the doorbell. She was hoping not to see Naina in the first go as she was not ready to face that woman. After two short bell rings, Naitik showed up at the door.

He was dumb struck to see Roohi at the door as it was not a so common phenomenon for them, it had been a ride of permissions, fixing of a proper appointment to meet since they had been separated.

“ Roohi.. um.. how come.. you.. well.. uh..” Naitik was fondling over his words.

“ I just happened to be on the same street and needed some .. some..”

“ some..?? well come on in first.” Naitik realised she was still at the door.

“ some cash change actually. Would you lend me a 500? Id transfer it to you?” Roohi finally came up with a reason.

“ yeah please sit. Ill be back.”

“ and..  Naina? Isn’t she home?” Roohi asked looking around.

“ She just… just left.”

“ I see..”

“ do you mind if I use the washroom Naitik?”

“ Sure..”

Roohi locked herself in the washroom and noticed it full of Naitik’s products. She couldn’t trace a single thing that resembled like a women’s.

Roohi walked out and entered the living room to see Naitik holding a fresh 500 note in his hand.

“ here you go.”

“ Naitik..!” Roohi called out with a straight tone before she walked up to leave.

“yeah..?”

“ where is Naina? Turns out Tanvi too hasn’t ever met her?” Roohi had finally bought up the ice breaker convo.

Naitik stood there dumb as a wall with zero response to Roohi’s words.

Her words kept on digging the truth and Naitik made his way to the couch to seat himself. His head was full of thoughts that he never knew how to project.

Roohi sat on the opposite couch and waited for him to speak a word.

“ What happened to Naina? Is she ok?” Roohi cut the silence after a prolonged pause.

“ Roohi.. there is actually.. there  has.. there has never been a Naina in my life.” Naitik spoke with gathered up courage.

Roohi sat with a blank mind. Her brows twitched in confusion and feet tapping in anxiety.

“ But.. how and why did you.. I just don’t understand anything.”

Naitik walked up to Roohi and sat down on the floor right before her couch and the first thing he did was subconsciously calm her tapping feet.

“ What have you been doing from the past 6 months then..? you hate me? you do not want to live with me?” Roohi spoke.

“Roohi listen… Hey.. listen to me. Its way complicated than you think it is. Its not easy for me either. But all I am doing is for us.”

“ What the hell are you doing? Fucking pushing me away from you? in the name of another woman whom now you say, doesn’t even exist.”

Naitik walked into the kitchen to bring her a bottle of water.

“ okay. Ill tell you everything. there is nothing to hide anymore.”

“ An year ago, my team started a mission to target a criminal group in the outskirts of Delhi. All we knew from our sources was, they were up to something big something that would destroy a huge fold. We had sent a few officers from our department and.. and.. we couldn’t save them. It was unfortunate. (Naitik took a deep breath to continue). A month later, there was an action on the families of those captive officers. Those idiots had harmed not only the officers but the entire families. “

“ Vijay had a 2 year old son Roohi..! they dint even spare the kid.”

Naitik’s eyes were talking the harsh truth and Roohi sat numb listening to everything. Naitik had talked such sensitive matters of his department to Roohi even during their marriage. But this time, he dint sound as strong as he used to seem earlier.

“ And… a few months later, I was needed in the operation. I knew the pattern how it worked. First the officers and then the family. I knew it was very risky. I wanted to keep you and Tanvi away from all this. But I did not want you to suffer if something was to happen to me. I wanted you to lead your own happy life. You deserve none of this because of me. I initiated the divorce as quick as possible as I wanted you to be legally free from everything. No one should dare to approach you. I was trying to erase all traces of you guys.

I couldn’t think of any other reason that would help you continue with your life. That is when I came up with the Naina episode. I was sure you would hate me and you would lead a deserving life.”

Roohi sat quiet with her hands tightly clutching her maroon kurta. She was trying to process everything bit by bit. Naitik clutched her hands and took them into his.

After a minute of complete silence, Roohi pitched her voice to speak.

“ Why do you think something is to happen to you? Why cant you consider the bright side? We would be there for you .”

“ No Roohi. You don’t understand. I am sure of what’s coming in the next episode of my life. It was in fact me who sent the housing agent to you so that you decide to move away from me. I just know what is coming and I cant help it. All I would expect is you to lead a happy life and most importantly, find love again.”

Roohi’s eyes had teared up as she made an eye contact with him.

“ Please.. don’t.. I cant see those eyes filled with tears. Its just a month more Roohi. I wouldn’t be in touch with you anymore. I wouldn’t even let you know my news if i… if I don’t make it.. just stay strong and start a new life. I never intended to let you know all this. But I don’t know why.. After yesterday, I am unable to keep it in anymore.”

Roohi collapsed down to the floor and hugged him tight by his neck.

“ Why does it have to be this way…? Isn’t there any other way?” Roohi’s tone had shifted to paused sobs.

“ It is what it is Roohi. Hold yourself tight. Why don’t you just forget whatever happened and go back to your life with a smile?”

Roohi sat in his embrace until her heart felt safe to let him go out of her arms. With every minute, she was preserving his memories on her skin and memorizing his touch. She looked into his eyes and kissed him with all her heart. Naitik couldn’t resist to kiss her back. The smooch continued for a few minutes and finally broke lightening their souls.

Roohi stood up to take a leave. She grabbed him one last time, planted a kiss on his fore head and whispered “ I let you go! But I love you more now. I will miss you for sure.”

“I have one final request to make.” Roohi talked gasping for deep breaths in between.

“ if something is to happen to you, I should know it. Promise me that. I deserve to know”

Naitik’s tears could no longer be hidden and a couple of drops just drained out to make their way to his cheek.

“ I promise.” He handed Roohi a small pendant plated with silver. The tiny pendant read the letter T in a very beautiful italic.

“ This is for Tanvi. Make sure she remembers me after I leave.”

*****

2 years later….

 

“ Tanvi..! can you please open the door?” Roohi called out from the bedroom as there were two knocks and a ring at the door.

Tanvi walked up to the door and unlocked it. She was more than excited to see her dad stand at the main door with a huge bouquet in his hand. Naitik gestured her to shush before she could give out a loud scream. He could notice Tanvi had grown taller but her face still looked the same.

He stepped in to lift her up into his arms and tightly kissed her cheeks. He put her down, knelt to the ground and gave her the huge rose bouquet. Tanvi smiled to the fullest in mute.

“ where is mumma?” He whispered.

“in the bedroom.. she is working on her laptop.” Tanvi pointed at the room.

“thank you darling” Naitik pulled out a rose from the huge bouquet and tiptoed to the room.

Roohi sat there working on her laptop. Naitik noticed that, she had changed her spects over these years and had lost weight significantly.

Roohi looked out to ask Tanvi who was at the door..

“Tanvi.. who was…” She was stuck at the mid sentence to see Naitik stand at the arch of the door with a smile and rose in his hand. For a moment she couldn’t believe if it was all real or was a part of her hallucination.

Naitik walked to her chair, gave her a hand to help her standup.

“ your trust and prayers saved me Roohi” Naitik spoke looking into her eyes.

“Only me and another officer could make it out of the whole team. Your prayers indeed worked.”

“ I know we have been divorced. But trust me, that really mattered legally. “

Naitik went on his knee, pulled out a thin silver ring from his pocket, streached out the rose and said,

“ will you marry me again?? I promise you its all done now. I am completely here for you now.”

Roohi got down to her knees too to hug him tight with watery eyes and a wholehearted smile.

“Yesss!!!” she whispered in his ears.