Untangled

The knots untangled,

the weights finally let down,

you slept your way through the dawn...

unmoved, unbothered,

detached, and calm.

While the world around you

trembled with your absence,

maybe more worried about surviving the loss

than knowing how to face it.

And maybe I should be happy

that I no longer have to watch you in pain,

through that painful life,

through that endless cycle to sustain.

The songs you sang,

the stories you told,

the lessons you taught,

the memories of you that i still hold

Were they little pieces of you,

you left with us,

knowing that one day

we would need them

to remember you?

I let you sleep

while I stood there with tears in my eyes,

trying to memorize a face

I already knew by heart.

And I whispered—

"I want you to remember me

in every other life you take."

I just have you within me.

In the air I breathe.

In the silence between my thoughts.

In the energy that surrounds me.

In every little thing

that somehow still feels like you exist.

In the wardrobe that still smells like your talc.

In the mornings

when your alarm doesn't ring anymore.

I know you would have smiled

if you knew I was writing something for you.

So I wanted to make it special

to write it down

with your Reynolds 045,

because somehow,

even your pen feels like a piece of home.

I want to tell you everything.

Everything happening in my life.

The little things.

The big things.

The things that hurt.

The things that make me laugh.

Because you promised

you would always listen to me rant.

And even now,

I can almost hear you thinking—

“You’re making a short story long again.”

Like always.

But how do I shorten

the story of a scar

that is as big

as my whole life?

So I'll keep talking.

I'll keep telling you my stories,

even if the words have nowhere to go.

Maybe they will find you

somewhere far away,

wherever you are.

The knots are untangled now.

The weights are down.

And I will carry

what you left behind.

Not as a burden,

but as proof

that once,

I was lucky enough

to have spent 24 years making memories with you.

--Until we meet again.