Inseperable

 

Inseparable

The weather had started to get breezy. Sejal and Abhi sat on their balcony with a half drunk old-monk. The clock had struck 11:00PM and the alcohol had set the perfect ambience for their one-year anniversary. Though it was the first drink they were having together, they knew how exactly they liked each other’s drinks. Abhi was preoccupied with narrating his college-tales while Sejal had seemed to somehow drifted out of the conversation. Her eyes were set on the dull thick scar on her left-hand elbow.

“Are you thinking of the past again?” Abhi noticed Sejal.

“no... it just reminded me of..” Sejal took another sip from her glass.

Abhi was well aware of the 4 months of depression Sejal had faced. She had never really talked about what led her into depression and nor did Abhi ever ask her about it. He made sure not to bring up anything related to those past 4 months. All that Abhi knew was, it was her ex- Sanjay who was partially responsible for her state.

“come here “ Abhi took Sejal into his arms to comfort her and caressed her face with a soft kiss.

“Please don’t go back to the past. I know you have had a tough time. But it’s all in the past. There is no point of worrying about it. Also, this scar, I really don’t know what happened to you. But all I can say is that, it makes you even more beautiful. Scars make you stronger they make you no less.” Abhi was deeply lost in Sejal’s eyes.

“but it was all a mistake Abhi. My past was a terrible mistake. Sanjay was an even bigger mistake. This scar only reminds me of those times.” Old monk had started to bring out the conversations.

“ hey.. you are not a bad person. everybody commits mistakes. You don’t have to be guilty about that.” Abhi’s words comforted Sejal.

“ why do you never ask me about my past?” sejal turned to make herself more comfortable in his arms and lay on his chest.

“that is because, it doesn’t matter to me. all that matters to me is your present. I really don’t care even if you were a terrorist in the past. Im in love with the present version of you. I really adore you. I don’t know what you used to be. But I definitely know what you are now.”.

Sejal couldn’t fall more for this man. Every word he said, made her feel she was a good human which was exactly what she wanted to feel after such a traumatic experience. Though there were mistakes that she had committed, she wanted to leave them all behind. She had found the perfect man who cared the exact same way she wished for. She often felt, she wouldn’t even have survived her depression if she hadn’t met Abhi.

Abhi was cleaning up the place as it had started to drizzle. As he stood up, his wallet fell from his pocket to the floor. Sejal glimpsed at his wallet and noticed his sister’s childhood picture in the transparent section. It had been two years since she had passed away and Abhi had mentioned several times how much he had loved his didi.

“Abhi! If you don’t mind me asking, how did she pass away “ Sejal was still looking at her picture and trying to figure out how much he looked like her. This was the first time Sejal was looking at her picture. They never had a conversation because Abhi would get nostalgic and all. Sejal respected his space too.

“To be honest, it was a murder. The police couldn’t find a clue. Someone stabbed her in the flight that she took back home that day”.

Sejal’s eyes widened and she gasped her mouth open. It took a second for her to shoot her next question.

“when exactly did this happen?” Sejal tried to dig deeper.

“ it was on 31^st October 2019. How can I forget the day? It was her birthday. she was travelling back from Noida. We were to pick her up from the airport. But we received the bad news.” Abhi paused his clean-up to concentrate on what he was talking. She could clearly see sorrow in his eyes that were slowly getting moist.

She went closer to him, gave him a warm hug from behind and then tried speaking again.

“do you.. um.. do you have any pictures of her’s?” Sejal’s voiced shivered.

“of course. Here” Abhi sat up straight, put the cleaning aside, handed his phone to Sejal. while Abhi was searching his gallery for her picture, Sejal was lost in her thoughts again. She had started to connect all the dots in her head. The death date, the airport, everything started to get connected in her head. Sejal was gradually losing herself. She was hoping to not see the picture of that one person whose face was running all over her head.

“that’s my di, kruthi” abhi was drawn into his nostalgia. A smile appeared on his face as he spoke.

“well. I need to get going abhi. I have some work.” Sejal handed him his phone and started to pick her stuff. She was dizzy and drunk and Abhi was scared to let her go at that time.

“ I think you should stay for the night.” Abhi suggested.

Sejal stopped her rush for a minute, looked at Abhi, her mind was all messed up. she took a minute to embrace Abhi, looked him into the eye for a while.

She couldn’t help but hug him tight and kissed him with her arms around her. A tear rolled out of her eye. Abhi was kissing her back with his hands cupping her face. She managed to walk out quickly before Abhi could notice anything wrong.

The night had been a very tough one to Sejal. even the alcohol had vanished its effect and sleep was out of the box. She sat up all night looking at their pix on her mobile. She clicked open one of her all time pic, zoomed into abhi’s face and spoke softly to the picture. “its over right?”

She then shut her mobile, lay on her bed with no sleep the entire night.

*****

The next day, the very first thing on Sejal’s to do list was to call abhi.

“ hey.. can you come over after work?” sejal spoke immediately as he picked. She hadn’t even cared for a good morning which was a routine for them.

“ya I can. But what is it?”

“we need to talk.. so just come as soon as possible” Sejal cut the call and it made Abhi anxious too.

Abhi was on time as expected. He had come straight from his office and Sejal opened the door to let him in.

 

He made himself comfortable on the sofa while Sejal handed him a water bottle.

“ do you love me Abhi?” Sejal initiated the conversation.

Abhi was confused to hear such a sharp tone and just nodded his head with his mouth filled with water. It was not even a minute since he arrived. Such serious question shocked him.

“ well I am sorry Abhi. I don’t deserve you.” Sejal broke the silence.

The whole ambience of the place seemed to change and Abhi looked at Sejal who was trying to talk with her head bent down.

“What is wrong with you honey? Why have you started to feel you are not a good person? weren’t you over it?” Abhi moved closer to sejal.

“no Abhi. ! you made me feel I am a better human. I never was. You helped me forget my past. You bought me out of my depression. But I can’t live my life with you. I don’t deserve you.” Sejal spoke with drenched eyes.

“Are you ok? I have told you a million times that your present is what matters to me” Abhi made his point clear.

“ Abhi! I love so much ..more than you think. That is exactly why I don’t deserve you. The love I have for you is making me do this Abhi. Please let me go away from your life. I will always love you for what you are “ Sejal was gushing out words from her heart. She was regretting every word coming out but she was happy for having done that.

“can you please tell me what Is making you say all this sej?” Abhi wanted a clarity.

“it was because of me abhi! Kruthi is dead because of me. “ sejal broke into tears.

She took a minute to figure out how to tell him everything that was running in her head. The only noises they could hear in the silence was the creaky sound of the fan and the ticks of the clock. She sat beside him on the sofa and tried continuing the convo. She had her eyes filled with tears and she dint know where to start.

She swallowed a lump and began to narrate her past that abhi had never dared to ask.

“yeah.. so talking of Sanjay. We were good till a time but then, everything started to change. There was so much disturbance in our lives. It took me a month to figure out he was slowly getting into the dark world of hacking. He had also created pretty good connections and all that scared me. I picked up all my courage to confront him and wanted to breakup with him the moment I realized these. I had also found proofs of his hacked transactions and others. I wanted to talk to him about us and reached his place abruptly one day. Before I could even enter, I heard him talk to another person. I stayed out and tried to listen their conversation.” Sejal continued to talk gasping short breaths in between.

“I was late of course. He had already known the fact that I knew everything before I could confront him. he gave the other man my flight details and ordered to kill me on the flight because I had discovered his identity. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The man I loved the most was actually wanting me dead. I had zero idea what to do. All I could think of not going on the flight. but if I dint, Sanjay would have directly come to me if I stayed back. I couldn’t even think of confronting anything to such a person anymore.

And.. then it struck me suddenly. The only plan for my escape that I could think of..

 as the pandemic had struck, I realized he wouldn’t identify people with masks. I tried to change my appearance for the flight and used contact lenses and makeup for the journey. Though I had tried hard, my ticket was still a problem. That guy knew my ticket and boarding details”

Abhi was patiently listening with a running heart pace.

“ that’s when I saw kruthi at the boarding section. “

As she mentioned the name, abhi’s eyes were filled with tears. Sejal continued…

 So I noticed that She had her spects on and wore her hair similar to mine. I started to make a small talk with her and managed to exchange my ticket with her saying that window seats make me sick. She not only took my ticket, but also my destiny.

At the arrival, sanjay’s men attacked kruthi while I managed to walk out of the chaos and then that…that chaos scarred me for life. “

She rolled up her sleeves to look at her scar again. It was the one that I had while escaping out of the attack. I ran out far from away from Sanjeev. But the guilt of someone else getting hurt, pushed me into depression. I knew they had attacked her. But I really dint think she would be dead.

Sejal had told him the entire thing in short . She waited for abhi to talk something.

Abhi was struggling to get words out of his mouth. It seemed like his whole world had collapsed right before his eyes.

“ I cant believe this..” he finally managed to utter out few words.

“ would you still say my past doesn’t matter to you? I was a self centered person and a really bad human” sejal came down on her knees.

Abhi was finding it hard to talk with tears in his eyes.

“I don’t know what to say I did love you so much sej.. the love I have for you is real sejal.” abhi was confused.

“ of course you do. Thanks for humanizing me. I wouldn’t even have survived without you.” Sejal was gasping for short breaths.

Abhi dint know what to speak. The love of his life had revealed her terrific past while he was deeply in love with her beautiful and pure present.

“ look abhi.. I could have lived to you without letting it out. But I cant live with a lie throughout my life. I’m sorry and I love you the most. I would never love anyone more.” Sejal spoke her bit.

Abhi wept his heart out and managed to talk with gasping breaths.

“ I really want to spend a lifetime with you. you being honest with me is making me want you even more. I know I had told you that your past wouldn’t bother me. I would be glad to spend an eternity with you. but my sister’s past matters to me. I don’t think I can ever forget this. I may pretend to forget this because I don’t mind your past. but this will always exist as a part of me. if not from your end, it will still be alive from my sister’s end. I would love you as a human who has a hard past. But I can never love you as the person that killed my didi. The man in me loves you. but the brother in me just can’t love you sejal!. I love you to the moon and back but even I … I cant live a lie and pretend while you are being this honest to me.“

Abhi picked up his keys from the table and walked out.

Sejal wept her eyes out trying to relieve her soul for paying the price of honesty.

Though they did not have a happily ever after, Love is rooted in honesty. They wanted each other more than anything else in the world. They knew that, they were inseparable but stayed apart their entire lives. They were in love with each other’s presents but could not live with a past.